Playing Librarian

I spend most of the day playing librarian.  Over a month ago, I found a web site, Library Thing, where you can catalog all your books.  You type in the ISBNs or authors or titles and then add it to your virtual library.  It's very handy, or it will be, once you have all your books listed.  Then, if I want to know if I have no. 8 in the Ramage novel series, I can quickly find out, rather than hunting threw stacks of books.  In addition to the main purpose of the site, your book catalog, there are also groups, book giveaways, and tons of info on the books themselves.  The neat thing is the site is free if you have less than 200 books.

So, today, I spent most of the day inputting the books that are in the bedroom.  I had already done the my studio and ended up with ~400 books.  I have one more box to do in the bedroom, so I should be a bit over 600 books.  I will have to go through these books and make corrections, add tags, write reviews, etc. but I'd rather get them all in once and for all.  After today, that leaves the living room/kitchen books with all my cookbooks, and <gulp> the study.  There's at least 40 boxes of books and a huge bookcase in the study.  I have no idea what the final count will be, but I'd guess around 2500 to 3000.

That sounds like a lot of books, but there are hundreds of people on that site with libraries that size or larger.  The 50 largest libraries are all over 11,000 books.  I like reading and books, but that seems an awful lot!

While I was entering things, Maggie and Isabel both snoopervised.  (I love that word -- snoopervize.)  Apparently, I wasn't entertaining enough, because they both fell asleep after 20-30 minutes.  The only problem I had with that is every time I moved, Maggie would wake up and wander around.  So, of course, I sat there in one position until I could barely stand up rather than wake her up.  But I was just thrilled to sit there and work, looking over at her now and then and seeing her peacefully sleeping.  Melted my heart.

Why Olivia Owes Me $49.95

I'm not sure how this is going to work, but Olivia owes me $49.95. She doesn't get an allowance nor does she have a job, so I'll probably never collect. But she still owes it!!!

Olivia helping me write this blog.

Maybe I should back up a bit.  Olivia is a wonderful black Persian who inhabits my studio because, well, she likes to beat the other kitties up.  Here favorite thing is to be hugged and scratched, which means she's on my lap while I use my computer, as in the photo above.  So, I'm sitting here at my laptop, reading an email, with Olivia in my lap. She's half asleep so I stop scratching. At some point she realizes I have stopped so she encourages me to continue scratching by stretching up and then moving around. I get done with the long email, go to reply, and the cursor won't move. D* my laptop broke.

I dig out the old manual for the old computer since the laptop came with nothing. (Hey HP, some of us did read the manuals at times!) I tried a few things. Nothing -- that little buggery won't move. So, out comes the battery, wait, reconnect,... hmm, cursor will move when I log onto the computer but once it's to the desktop, nope, not going to move. Then I notice the strange icon in the lower right side. D* my laptop has a virus.

So, I call a local computer place. They are not open on Mondays, which of course, it was. I call another place. Well, we can work on your laptop on Thursday. Great. Finally, I breakdown and call HP Tech Support. Of course, this laptop is out of warranty but I'd rather pay $49.95 now to get it fixed than wait forever. Besides, if it was a virus, they weren't going to charge me. Nothing to lose. So I'm transferred all over the Indian subcontinent and I finally get Amy. (Thanks to years of Indian math professors, I'm fluent in Indian English.)Bless her heart, she calmly walked me through this procedure. Nope, not working. So she has me do this other stuff. I didn't even know you could do it, so it was neat to do, but it didn't help. She starts talking about touch pad failure. D* my laptop is back to broken.

Finally she says, is there a red button on the touch pad? DUH, the stupid sign goes off above my head. I poke the tiny red light, it changes to white, and my cursor is now freely roaming all over!!! Problem solved.

But wait, there's more. Since Amy is new, I have to talk to her supervisor about the service and the problem. So, I have to explain to Crystal (interesting how these Indians have such normal American names?) all about how stupid here didn't know there was a way to lock a touchpad. I've program VAX's, I've coded in 6 languages, heck, I've used keypunch cards -- I felt like a total idiot -- not knowing there's a way to lock a touch pad.

I suppose I should be grateful to Olivia for helping me learn something new about computers, but hey, I wouldn't have had to learn it if she hadn't locked it for me in the first place. She owes me $49.95!!!

Book Review: Raising Cats Naturally by Michelle Bernard

[Since my cats seem to be taking over this blog and my life, it only seems fitting that I include my review of one of my favorite cat books.]

Raising Cats Naturally: How to Care for Your Cat the Way Nature Intended by Michelle T. Bernard

ISBN 1427605343 

To create optimum health in a cat, one should feed the cat what is closest to it's natural diet. This is the premise of Michelle T. Bernard's book. She has painstakingly researched the diet of cats and how to create the best diet for the domestic cat. This diet is based on raw meat with added supplements. While making cat food takes longer than opening a can of commercial food, Bernard points out many of the benefits from this diet, including lowering vet bills. The recipes are long, but composed of simple ingredients and easy to follow.

As someone who has used her recipes since 2004, I can attest to the health benefits. Several of my cats are alive today because this diet cured their irritable bowel disease, diabetes, and other incurable diseases. Over the years, I have tried other raw food recipes, but this is one I return to over and over. This is the book I tell others to buy when they are starting their cats on raw food.

For those not familiar with homeopathy, herbs, and other alternative treatments, this book also includes several pages of discussion concerning each.  For example, she includes a treatment for ringworm, which is VERY effective, cheap, and, unlike the commonly prescribed vet medicine, harmless to cats.  If I forget the food information, this one thing more than paid for the book in savings!

I have only two tiny complaints.  One is I wish she would update the book with regards to sources.  I know I'm asking a lot, but several companies she suggests are either out of business or no longer carry the product.  The second complaint is include more photos of her gorgeous cats.  See -- I told you these were tiny complaints!

Anyway,  I can't praise it enough!!! (  )

Where have I been?

Okay, it's been another long break from blogging or even living.  As I last wrote, I was doing a stint as a long-term substitute teacher in a high school math special education classroom.  With any long-term sub job, I was responsible for everything -- teaching, planning, meetings, etc.  It, well, became my life.  Here was a typical day:

• 5am -- get up and feed most of the cats
• 5:30am -- feed Maggie and Isabel by hand
• 5:45am -- drink coffee and eat breakfast
• 6am -- feed Maggie, medicate Isabel
• 6:15am -- pack lunch, change clothes
• 6:30am -- leave home
• 7:30am -- arrive at school
• 8-9am -- should be my prep period but often I was subbing for someone else this period
• 9-11:45am -- teach morning classes
• 11:45-12:15 -- lunch, do some grading, supervise Anime club
• 12:15-3pm -- teach afternoon classes
• 3-5pm -- "teacher stuff": grade work, enter grades, call parents, tutor, talk to other teachers, etc.
• 6pm -- arrive home, change clothes
• 6:15pm -- feed most cats
• 6:30pm -- hand feed Maggie and Isabel
• 6:45pm -- eat supper
• 7:30pm -- play on internet (mainly at http://www.persian-cats.com/)
• 8:15pm -- clean litter boxes
• 8:30pm -- groom Isabel
• 8:45pm -- put cats to bed, feed Maggie
• 9pm -- got to bed, read for 15 minutes if lucky

As you can see, there's not a lot of extra time in there for anything.  The "play on internet" was the only "fun" thing and it was there because (a) anything else was too tiring and (b) helping others with their cats was what kept me sane.

So, the end of the school year comes, the administration talks about how they want me, the teacher I was subbing for says he's coming back, and I was exhausted. 

I'm still exhausted, actually.  It's all mental stress from not knowing if I will get his job permanently or not.  If I do, I need to go back to school for 2 more years while teaching fulltime.  If I don't get the job, do I still work on a special ed credential?  I've applied for various other jobs, but thanks to my experience in special ed, I'm now branded as a special education teacher.  So do I chuck education all together?  Do I apply for every math job even when I would have to get  an apartment there and barely break even?  (Sorry, I refuse to sell this house!)  I can't decide whether to cry or scream.

Enough gloomy stuff.

The cats are doing well.  I'm going to start doing some art again -- stone sculpture and oil wildlife paintings.  I found a wonderful site on which to catalog my books (http://www.librarything.com/ ).  I have several ideas for Plan C and even Plan D, if this teaching stuff doesn't work out.

A Moment's Break

I don't know where I left off over a month and a half ago, so I'll just say what's going on now.

Work:  I presently have a long-term sub assignment teaching special education math at a high school.  The students are not the sweet mildly retarded kids one thinks of when one hears "special ed".  Now, these are mainly the emotionally disturbed kids who will suddenly go from calm to punching in 5 seconds for little reason.  They can be nice, they can be horrible -- it makes life interesting and stressful.

Art:  I have a couple of commissions I need to get to work on.

Cats:  Well, most are okay.  Clancy, who I thought was going to die from chronic renal failure (CRF) is much improved to the point of no longer being CRF.  He has thyroid issues.  Maggie is okay and gaining some weight, as you can see from the photo above.  The 13th was her 6 month Gotcha Anniversary so we partied with sardines!   Isabel has the sniffles -- pollen allergies?  And, well, I have a new cat -- Olivia.  She's a black Persian and totally adorable.  She's also incredibly hard to photograph -- only her eyes show up!


Books:  I'm working on several.  One is Bach Flower Remedies for Cats.  I have several cats with emotional problems (either fear or aggression), so I'm reading through this book to try to figure out which remedies to use.  I'm great at helping others pick the right remedies, but terrible with my own cats.

I'm also reading through the Markham of the Marine Series by Tom Connery.  There's only 3 books in the series and all follow British Marine Lieutenant Markham through a siege on Toulon (that's A Shred of Honour), then an attack on Corsica (Honour Redeemed), and, well, I'm not sure what the next adventure is (Honour Be Damned).  It's set after the French Revolution but before the Napoleonic Wars, as Napoleon appears as a gun captain, I believe.  I like reading the Napoleonic naval novels, but these aren't as interesting, probably because a lot of the land-based war at that time dealt with sitting and waiting, digging trenches, waiting, and then some fighting.  Connery, who is really David Donachie, doesn't fill the waiting times with much of interest, in my opinion.  I'll finish the series as I'm OCD in that respect, but no more Napoleonic marine stories for me -- I'll stick with the Navy!

Now off I go and we'll see how long it will be before I make it back!

Cat News: Good, Bad, and Ugly

As the title says, there's good news, bad news, and ugly news about my cats.

Ugly News:  I now have two cats with ringworm.  Ugh.  Well, I know for sure Dante has it.  Whether Robbie actually has it is questionable since he doesn't have large bald areas.  His spots are small, scaly, and could be caused from scratching.  I'm not taking any chances, so I am treating him as if it were ringworm.

It took me several days to figure out a treatment plan.  Dante is 18 years old or so and not in the best health, so the standard treatment of Fulvin is out -- much too hard on internal organs.  I'm also not keen on bathing cats in fungicides as fungicides are some of the most dangerous pesticides around.  If the cats wouldn't lick it off, it might be a different story.  So, this leaves me with home remedies and related voodoo medicine.  The plan is this:

• homeopathic remedy sulphur, one per day for 30 days
• saturate spots with a dilute solution of apple cider vinegar and goldenseal extract (to kill active fungus)
• add zinc, astragalus, and VitC to food (to boost immune systems)
• clean house daily and wipe areas with Clorox wipes (to kill spores)

I've already started on it and there is some improvement.  I honestly don't know if it will work totally, but it will not hurt them.  The interesting fact is ringworm is usually self-limiting.  That is, do nothing and in 30 days it will disappear.  Of course, the cat can always get re-infected so...

Bad News:  Clancy, who has chronic renal failure, is getting much worse.  I can and have worked on the kidney situation with homeopathy, fluids, and nutrition, but when that improves, he has other problems.  His other problems are either terrible aggression (lashing out at any cat, dog, or person near him) or overly sexual attacts (i.e., he tries to hump any cat, dog, or person near him).  I can control these problems with small doses of progestrone, but then that screws up the kidneys. Right now, he's nearly panicked all the time looking for food.  If I give him more (he's already eating 4 meals a day), he gets diarrhea.

While he has moments that he seems happy, these are getting fewer and further apart.  I do think it's time to consider putting him to sleep.  Since Monday is a school holiday, I may have it done then.  We'll give him a good weekend and say good-bye to him.

Good News:  Maggie went to the eye vet today and does not have to go back!!!  The graft is healing, the veins are receding, and the cornea is as healthy as it can be.  (Her cornea is a mess from previous eye problems, so it will never be normal.)  It's been 3 months of worrying about her eyes, of eye drops, of trips to Upland to the eye vet.  That is all over, finally.  She can see enough to play, walk around, and bop other cats and that's enough for me.

As for me, I took yesterday and today off from subbing.  I was getting so tired, I just needed a day to do nothing, which is what I essentially did.  (I played some games and had fun blowing things up!)  Tomorrow, I'm back to work.  Course, then it will be a 3 day weekend!

I keep thinking that one of these days I'll get back to doing art, but it's hard to do art when I'm so tired.  I also think I should do something for the quilt class I signed up for -- either do it or not.  And then there's the whole idea of working out and losing weight.  So many things to do!

If It Ain't One Cat, It's Another

One of the perils of having 9 cats is that usually at least one cat is sick at any one time.  This is especially true since I do adopt older or ill cats. 

Today's turn was Robbie, a Persian and Maine Coon mix.  He's been 'off' for several days and today, right before work, he threw up.  It was his breakfast and, based on the quantity, part of last night's supper.  Well, since he's a long haired cat, I'm thinking hairball or maybe blockage.  He got hairball remedy for supper and I have all my fingers crossed that it will do the trip.  I don't want to have to take him in for an enema or surgery.

It also became apparent to me that while I sub, I'm not going to do much art.  I don't have much time at night and the cats take priority, so there's only the weekends to do the art.  And lately, I've found one excuse after another not to do it.  So, I see no reason to keep beating myself up to do the art.  If it gets done, great; if not, so what.  I need the subbing to pay off Maggie's bills.

And speaking of subbing, tomorrow I sub for a master sergent in the Marine Corp as part of an ROTC program.  This really should be interesting.

Maggie

I'm somewhat upset at myself for not getting any art done, not writing sooner, and not doing much of anything except worry about Maggie.  That's basically what I've done since my last posting.  Now I said 'somewhat upset' because there's a part of me that could care less about anything else except Maggie.  So, since I have no art to write about, I'll write about Maggie.

I adopted Maggie on Oct 13, 2010 from the San Bernardino County Animal Shelter.  I actually adopted Maggie, a blue Persian, and her sister Maya, a black Persian.  Both girls were in horrible shape.  For starters, they were emaciated.  Not thin, not scrawny -- emaciated!  They looked like cats who had survived Auschwitz.  Maggie weighed 3.5 lbs and Maya 3.25 lbs.  I honestly don't know how they could walk as they had almost no muscle left.  They both had been shaved by a 5-year old, or so it looked.  In spots, whoever had shaved into the skin and down to the bone of their tails.  And to top it off, both had an upper respiratory infection (URI).  These two girls had been used in a backyard breeding operation and when they could no longer produce kittens, they were tossed over some one's fence as garbage.

Since neither was spayed, the shelter sent them to a vet for spaying, despite my concerns about their health.  The spaying went okay, but both had infected uterus' and Maya's had begun to rupture.  I brought them home not knowing whether either one would survive the night. 

With snotty noses and huge amounts of antibiotics, neither one would eat and both had diarrhea.  This meant I had to force feed both of them, which I did.  After about 2 weeks, they were perking up and were exploring the house at times.  Both were super affectionate and loved nothing more than to sit on me and be scratched.

The one Friday, Maya looked off.  Her tummy was swollen.  I took her to a local vet who thought she may have rupture an internal suture.  He did emergency surgery and found that the ruptured uterus has caused massive damage to her kidneys and urethra.  As there was no hope, she was put to sleep then and there.

Maggie was lost without her sister.  I was lost too.  But I was also determined not to lose Maggie, so I carried on the best I could.  She was still being syringe fed.  She was moved into the bedroom to sleep with me at night.  And I spent as much time as I could with her.

About a week later, she developed conjunctivitis.  This led to ulcers on both eyes.  As the cause was probably herpes, I started her on antiviral eye drops at $140 a bottle.  Then one Sunday morning, I walked into the bedroom and the right side of her face was wet.  And she was in pain.  It hit me like a punch in the stomach -- her right eye had ruptured.  After a few calls, I found an emergency vet clinic and drove her there.  The vet was wonderful, but very concerned about her weight -- 4.2 lbs.  To me it was great, because it was up!  So after a number of tests and with lots of extra warnings to me, he removed the eye. 

After she came home on Monday, I called and made an appointment with an eye-specialist vet.  The bad news was the left was deeply ulcered and she estimated we had a 50-50 chance of it rupturing.  Well, 10 days later, on a Saturday night, it rupture.  This time I drove like a maniac for 2 hours to get to their emergency eye vet clinic for a graft on the eye.  I've had blind cats before, but Maggie deserved a shot at sight and happiness.  (Okay, this is me projecting onto her, but so what?)

She came home and was doing well, and even adjusted to life in a plastic cone.  There had been a chance that the retina was detached, but it became obvious that she had sight.  And then deja vu.  On the day before an appointment with the eye vet, Maggie started to act  like she was in pain.  Then there was a lot of fluid from her eye.  The bottom line was the graft had perforated for some reason -- probably because the blood supply didn't penetrate it fast enough.  So, we were back to the question of blind cat or another graft.  The eye vet worked with us on the money side, so we went for a second graft.

When she came home with her new graft, she was basically blind.  The vet had sewn part of her eyelid shut to help support the graft.  She had tons of mucous in the eye.  She was in pain.  She also needed various eye drops about 15 times a day.  Plus she had to keep wearing that cone.  The end result is Maggie got depressed, very depressed.  If she was human, she would have killed her self.  You could just see the spark of life draining out of her.  My vet, who does alternative medicine at times, estimated Maggie's life force at 30% or less.  Maggie was giving up and didn't care if she lived or died.  But I cared!!!  I wanted her to live so I could spoil her.  The only thing I knew to do was try Bach Flower essences.  They don't make any rational sense, but I have used them before on depressed cats with success, so I tried them on Maggie. 

And they worked!  A few days after beginning to use them, Maggie perked up.

Since then, Maggie has gained weight -- all the way to 5 lbs 2 oz.  She tiny and I don't know how much she'll ever weigh.  She still won't eat on her own, but she will eat chunks of raw beef.  She grooms herself.  Her coat is slowly growing back in.  She plays with balls and mice like there is no tomorrow.  She even bops all the other cats and dogs, because she is the queen of the house.  And best of all, she can see -- the second graft is healing well and we are down to only 3 eye drops per day.

Unfortunately, she still has minor problems.  For example, she was eating a lot for a while because her system wasn't processing it well.  Once her digestion became more effective, it slowed down.  She kept eating and ended up get backed-up to the point of vomiting.  We have now settled on the amount of food she needs to slowly gain weight without digestive problems.

But every time she has a minor problem, I panic.  I go into 24hr worry mode.  I know it's not healthy or productive, but it's hard not to obsess over her.  She is such a joy in my life!  She has also made me seriously question the importance of a lot of things in my life and even what I want to do with my life.

Where's the Art?

Well, I haven't written for 5 days.  I also haven't done any art.  Not exactly what I had planned for this year.

This weekend, I was exhausted.  Saturday, I got up, ate breakfast, and had a nap.  Then in the afternoon, we went shopping in Palm Desert.  Sunday, I got up. ate breakfast, did some cleaning, and then had my nap.  By Sunday afternoon, physically I could have done some art but mentally I was still tired.  On Monday, we had an eye vet appointment in Upland for Maggie, so that took most of the day and we had to celebrate the report on Maggie's eye.  Yesterday, I subbed in a special education classroom and came home tired and late.  Today, I subbed in a middle school and came home utterly annoyed and exhausted.

Now, the question really is: what was I expecting?  I know subbing isn't easy -- I have to get up at 4:30 some days, students aren't always cooperative, and I will be on my feet all day.  Is it realistic to expect myself to come home, do art, attend to my cats, and interact with hubby and friends?  I want to believe it is, but I'm beginning to suspect that it's not. 

What is the solution?  I can't quit subbing since it's the source of our income and if  I ever want a full-time teaching job, I have to keep in the 'business'.  If I knew eBay was back, I could cut down on the subbing -- maybe to 3 days a week -- and sell the art to make up for the lost days.  Unfortunately, I don't think eBay is doing well, at least for art.  I have tired selling art online, in galleries, and at art shows and nothing works well.  So, I'm stuck subbing which means I won't get a lot of art done.

The subbing assignment for tomorrow should be easy although it will be boring.  (It's special education for the severely handicapped.)  I should come home more relaxed and less tired than normal, so maybe -- just maybe -- I'll be able to do some art. 

Okay, since I really only need 1-2 hours and the chickadee will be done, here's my goal for tomorrow:  I will work on it for 1 hour.

The Perils of Substitute Teaching

For the last two days, I've been substitute teaching.  On these days, I get up at about 5am so I can feed everyone, including Maggie who is still eating off a syringe, and arrive at the location on time.  Today, I had to be at the school at 7:30am which is nice since I didn't leave home until 6:45am.  Some of the middle schools require subs to show up at 7:15am and most are further away, so I have to leave at 6am.

The assignment was "Roving Substitute", which translates normally to mean I get to the school without any idea of what subject(s) or what teacher(s) I'm subbing.  This position is used to fill in for a teacher who called in sick that morning or for a teacher whose classes have a reputation for problems.  Occasionally, this can also mean there is no specific assignment because the school had enough subs show up so you fill in period by period where you are needed or as a second teacher in a classroom.

Today was a bit different.  The school was having departmental training sessions, so in the morning, I taught English II and in the afternoon Biology.  The nice thing was the teachers had notice of this training so the two teachers I subbed for had prepared nicely -- instructions, seating charts, materials.  The bad parts were the kids knew about the absences so some came in 'excited' to have a sub and most of the students were sophomores. (Remember, sophomore literally means "wise fool".)  The morning went well -- most students worked and no one caused problems.

The afternoon I knew was going to be interesting because the teacher had warned me about her challenging 6th period.  Compared to other classes, 6th wasn't all that bad.  The real problem was most students didn't want to do anything.  Okay, I can live with that.  The problem is they then get bored and start doing things -- usually stupid things.  One girl decided not to work and instead make cell phone calls.  Students are allowed to have cell phones, but not allowed to use them in class -- school rules.  She refused to put it away, started talking back to me, and then walked out of class early.  She left me no choice but to write her up, so now she'll get suspended for a day.  I really don't understand what goes on in some students' brain!

But overall, it was a good day.  Most of the classes were fine, most of the students were okay, and I ended up working an extra class, so I get an extra $15.

Unfortunately, I've come home exhausted both days.  Part of the problem is I'm just not used to getting up so early.  Over Christmas break, I started getting up at 7am, so 5am is a very rude shock.  Another part of the problem is I'm not used to being on my feet all day.  Again, it was Christmas break -- this time my lack of movement.  And still another part of the problem is the stress of subbing.  Remember, I go into classes not knowing if there are sub plans, if the students are nice or out of control, or sometimes what classes I'll be doing.  Then I have to deal with up to 45 students in a class, many who don't want to be there.

Needless to say, I haven't done any art.  I'm not happy with that.  I had visions of doing 1-2 hours when I got home or in the evening, but it's not happening.  I am hoping that given time, I'll adjust enough to the subbing that I will be able to do art at night.  Until then, it looks like I'll be doing my art only on weekends, when there are a hundred other things to do.

And now, off to bed!!!

Just Not a Good Day

I got up this morning all bright and cheery, and I should have gone right back to bed!

First annoyance -- Isabel, my silver Persian, won't eat.  She has decided that Maggie's food is so much better than hers.  To get Isabel to eat, I now have to put a spoonful of Maggie's food on it to give it some flavor.

Second annoyance -- Hubby suggests we go down to Palm Springs to get some parrot pellets and a few items at Trader Joe's.  Fine, but let's go soon.  So, he reads for a while, walks his dogs, and then gets changed and ready to go.  In the meantime,

Third annoyance --Robbie, my Persian/Maine Coon mix, is really looking pathetic.  His right ear is horizontal and he's scratched it badly.  So, as much as I don't like to drive to my vet in Big Bear in the winter, I make an appointment.  This then leads to...

Fourth annoyance -- Hubby and I have a tiff.  It's not really a fight out loud, so much as both of us are angry at the other.  Fine, he stayed home, I went to the vet.

Fifth and biggest annoyance -- Robbie has ear mites.  Now, if you don't own cats or dogs, this means nothing.  What it means to me is that I now have to treat all my cats -- all 9 -- plus hubby's 2 dogs for ear mites.  This is just going to be so much fun and for 2-3 weeks!

Sixth annoyance -- I was suppose to substitute tomorrow and have Friday off to take Maggie to the eye vet.  That is now changed to work tomorrow and Friday, with the eye vet on Monday.

So, no, I haven't had a good day.  Yes, I understand a lot of these problems are minor or my own creation, and if my attitude was better, they wouldn't be so annoying.  I'm just really annoyed at myself for letting all this distract me and not get any art done.

First Steps Back

This starting back doing art and selling art is a real challenge.  It's been two years since I've done much with PayPal, eBay, or my website, so I've forgotten much of what I used to know.  I suppose over time things will come back.

The drawing and painting seems to have come back fairly quickly.  I've started on an oil painting of a mountain chickadee, which I should finish tomorrow.  I've got the drawing for a short-eared owl, also in oil.  And I'm in the planning/drawing stages for a western grebe in watercolor.  The painting has gone well, although my biggest challenge is the tubes of oils are dried shut.  I almost totally mashed one using pliers to get it open and at least two colors are totally dry.  Guess I don't really need burnt umber!

One big adjustment is that hubby is home.  Before, he was out driving a truck and I was all by myself.  While I know this is my own paranoia, I feel like he's watching me and trying to figure out if I'm working hard enough.  After all, this is a big gamble since I'm not substitute teaching (which is 'sure' money) and have gone back to doing art (which is not 'sure' money).  The effect so far is that I'm working harder.  In theory, he should be able to take over some of the cooking and cleaning chores so I will have more time to do art.

Another big adjustment is my cats.  Last time I was doing art, I had 4 cats.  And now, I have 9, including one who is on fluids 3 times a week and one who needs to be hand-fed.  Overall, they don't create problems, except that I want to spend some time each day playing with each one or brushing them or just lounging around with them.  The only other problem is Robbie has decided my studio is his favorite room so he's moved in.  All my paintings will be easily identified -- his cat hair goes straight to wet oils!

I'm actually fairly happy with how things are going.  It also feels so good to be back painting.

And now, off to finish the grebe drawing....

What's This?

Hmm, I woke up this morning, looked out the window, and... what's this stuff?  SNOW!!!  I know it was cold enough last night to freeze, but it's so rare we get cold and wet to make snow.  It's only a light dusting so it probably will be gone by noon, but it looks nice now.

New Year, New Me

Welcome to 2011!!! 

I have a few modest hopes and some resolutions for this year, so that when I look back on it, I won't feel like I've wasted a year.  2010 was not a good year.  I lost 3 cats, am still unemployed as a teacher, and didn't do any art or math.  It's so depressing to look back on, that I'm more than eager to move forward.  My motto for this year is "Be a doer, not a talker."  So here are my resolutions for 2011:

• Work through Weil's 8 Weeks to Optimum Health.  This is a very simple and comprehensive plan to get in shape, eat better food, and take care of myself.  It covers mind, body, and spirit.  I've worked on it before, several times, and have made it to week 4 and then quit.  I can't remember why I quit every time, but I did.  It probably had to do with the exercise or meditation parts.  Anyway, for week 1, the big things are to walk for 10 minutes a day, eat salmon and broccoli twice, and do some simple breathing exercises.  It really shouldn't be too hard to do, except..yep, coming up with excuses already!...it's cold outside for the walks and hubby isn't helpful on the eating healthy part (cake with ice cream is a balanced meal is his book!).  I have the salmon, bought some broccoli, and will go for a walk when I'm done here.  I really need to make this a priority as I'm getting older, I'm getting fatter, and I'm getting more depressed over everything.  If I don't start doing some exercise now, in a few years I'll probably need knee replacements and I don't have health insurance because I don't have a full-time job. 
• Pay more attention to my cats.  I am guilty of spending all my time on those cats who are sick or have problems and then ignoring the healthy ones.  I also tend to cut corners and, say, not clean litter boxes as I should, which is now leading to some problems.
• Spend 30 minutes a day cleaning.  I know this doesn't sound like much, but (a) I don't have a lot of extra time between subbing, art, and cats, and (b) I also know that if I'm consistent it will help clean up this house.  Hubby is not good at cleaning or putting things away, so I need to train him better!  I also think having a nice environment will improve my attitude.
• Spend 1 hour a day doing art.  This is one that scares me. When I'm subbing, I come home tired and cranky, and the most I feel like doing is reading.  I'm really going to have to push myself sometimes, especially at the beginning now, to do this.  But if I don't do the art, I can't sell the art.

I'm hoping after a couple of months, I will have improved my attitude and life will seem better.  Towards the end of 2010, I literally was living for my cats.  That's not healthy, but when one hates her job, her house (because of clutter), and herself, living for one's cats is better than the alternative.

Now, off to take my walk.  I suppose hubby will want me to take a d-o-g.  Groan...

Starting Over

It's been over 2 years since I lasted posted. I wish I could say I was off on some wonderful artistic adventure, but I can't.

So, what have I been doing in those 2 years? I have worked over 1 school year as a substitute teacher, 1 school year as a full-time math teacher, adopted several cats, and basically been depressed. This is not the way I had intended by life to go!

See, I made a rational desicion to move from doing art to getting a teaching credential to teach math. Supposedly, there was a huge need for math teachers. Okay, I worked myself nearly to death, working full-time and going to school full-time, only to get the credential and have the state of California go nearly bankrupt. No teaching jobs unless I want to move and teach in the inner cities, and I'm not sure I would even get one of those. So, what is California talking about doing? A 25% across the board cut. Why am I not feeling good about my prospects of getting a job next school year?

Well, crazy as it may seem, I'm going back to doing the art. I think I can make enough from the art so that I won't have to substitute every day and take all the 'less than desirable' assignments like I have been doing. I'm also going to try to get some private tutoring jobs.

This fall, I discovered that I need to have flexibility in my life and the ability to work from home. This discovery was thanks to a small, grey Persian cat named Maggie. (I'll tell her story some other day.) After Christmas, I decided that I had to change my life, if not for me then for Maggie's sake.

So, tomorrow is the beginning of a new year -- 2011. I've decided to make this the year "I do and not just talk about it". I'm excited.

Until tomorrow....

Another Day Off

Gees, it's not been months since I last wrote!

Actually, I'm going a bit bonkers. I have today off and probably tomorrow too. I do know that I'll be working on Friday, although I'm not too thrilled over that. My husband is coming home tomorrow night and I'd rather spend the day with him rather than 6 classes of 7th-graders. But we need the money and I don't mind the school, so I felt I should.

For those that don't know how substitute teaching works, once you are hired, you gain access to a website where you sign up for assignments. What the site tells you is the date, the school, the teacher, and the general topic. So, for Friday, I know where and when and for whom I'll be subbing, but I only know the class is "social studies". At this school, I'm not even sure of the grade. Some school districts have teachers put the lesson online, so I could see if the "social studies" was history about the Reformation or geography of South America. This mystery factor can be interesting! (And sometimes not in a positive way.)

Anyway, I spent today working on some calculus and on my new pink skirt, along with some housework. Again, I thought about working on a painting, but I took a nap instead. My excuse today was I am using my art studio for a sewing room and getting out all the paints will only add to the mess in here. I really do need to rearrange this room so I can do both. I think there's room, if things were better layed out. I doubt that I'll get to that until after school is out -- it's something that will take 5-7 days to do.

Well, the cat herd is complaining. It only took them 2 days to get used to being fed at 5am and 5pm, so now I'm late!

No Wind in My Sails

Well, I've set a new record for not blogging -- almost 5 months. I've kind of missed it, then again, there's a lot about my former life that I really miss.

• Emily -- My cat of 18 years died in January and it's been tough without her. I've been meaning to write a few words about her but I've never gotten around to it. She was so much a part of my life, especially towards the end when she was very ill. One of these days I will have to write her eulogy.
• doing art -- Several times in the last few months, I've tried to do something like painting or sculpting. But I can't. It still hurts too much to do it for fun. Call it sour grapes if you will, but I don't think it's fair that certain 'artists' are still making a fine living while I had to get a normal job. So, I've channelled my artistic drives into making my own clothes. It's not as creative in some sense (I'm too much a novice that I find commercial patterns a challenge), but it is satisfying.
• time -- With this new career of teaching (substitute teaching right now), I have very little time to do anything. I get up at 5am and get home at 3pm exhausted, but having to do all the housework. I do know that once I get thinks settled (such as getting a full-time teaching position), things will be less stressful. But even then, I won't have the time to relax and putter around like I did.

Right now, however, I do have a few days on my hands. This is the time of standardized testing in California and the schools prefer not to have substitute teachers during this time. So, it looks like I'll be home for the next week or so. I have quite a list of things I need and want to do -- some such as filling out applications for college, and some such finishing another skirt -- so, I'll keep busy.

Not Really Back

Well, I see it's been several months since I last wrote anything. The fact of the matter is that I haven't exactly felt like writing much of anything. Plus I haven't had much time, either.

Sometime this summer, it became apparent to me that this making a living at art was burning me out on art, not producing the income I need (in the next year or so), and not likely to improve at anytime in the future. So, I decided, gulp, to give up on being a full-time artist and go be a math teacher. Yep, math. I do have that degree in math/stat and I have taught before (at college level) and they need math teachers, so it fit. It also will give me the freedom to do my art for at least 3 months in the summer.

The bad part of this math idea is that I had to review 4 years of math in 2-3 months so that I could take competency exams. This is college level math with such fun topics as calculus, abstract algebra, and number theory. I will admit it, I haven't had some of the topics and I haven't thought about math in years, so this was a shock to my brain. While I was always good at math, trying to learning abstract algebra on my own after 15 years of not thinking about math as ... well, interesting. Anyway, since about August, I have done 5-10 hours a day of math.

This didn't leave any time or energy to do art, so I ended up refunding commissions and closing my eBay store. Both of these things were difficult to do because I had to admit that my life as an artist (only) was over. I know I'm not suppose to say this, but I felt (and still do) like I failed at 'art'. In my more rational moments (i.e., when I'm not wallowing in self-pity), I understand that I was good at the 'doing art' part, but because of my stubbornness, lack of knowledge, and lack of luck, I failed at the 'selling art' part. (I'll write more on this in a later post.)

Lately, things have calmed down a bit and I'm thinking about painting a bit. (I've passed the hardest exam, feel confident I passed the second exam, and now just waiting for results so I can fill out the actually paperwork to get an internship.) I'm also working on finishing up a couple of stone sculptures -- just so I can have more things to dust in my house!!!

Oh, and in all this mess, Emily, my cranking old cat, is dying from chronic renal failure. Some days she acts fine, and some days I think it's time to make the final trip to the vet. Today has been a good day so far.

Someone recently said to me the Universe doesn't give you more than you can handle. I sometimes wonder about that -- then again, I am still here and it is been fun reviewing/learning all that math, so I guess it's true.

Excessive Heat Warning!

It's official -- it's hot. Only 109 today. Tomorrow is suppose to be over 112! In fact, I'm in an area with an excessive heat warning. This is what I get for living in a desert. So, no strenuous outdoor activity, lots of water, and a big bowl of ice cream. Okay, the last one is my own idea, but I'm willing to see if it works to make me cooler.

Actually, 109 isn't so bad with a breeze and no humidity. Well, there's a breeze, but.... Unlike normal heat waves, this one came with clouds. Not the big thunderstorms but high wispy clouds. Well, clouds means humidity otherwise the clouds evaporate over the mountains. So, this 109 is like walking out into a sauna. I doubt that this humidity is enough to lower the fire danger, so all it's doing is making life miserable outside. (Hey, even the cactus wrens are walking around with their mouths open.)

While my house does have air-conditioning, my studio still gets plenty warm. If I turned the a/c to cooler, it would be better in here, but then the rest of the house would be too cool. (I keep it about 82-85, so I'm not sweating but I still adjust to the heat.) So, I adjust my schedule. I now am painting in the morning, knitting or reading in the afternoon (in a cooler room), and then back in here at night to work on my web site or draw (doing colors under artificial light is frustrating to me). I can work with this, except for one minor annoyance. There's nothing interesting on the radio at night. (Hey, I said it was minor!) Flexibility is key to an artistic life.

So, what am I working on? There's a dog portrait, a short-eared owl, a warbler, and an alpaca print. The last item I have done, but I just need time to print it. If it ever gets cooler outside, I'll get back to working on a couple of sculptures, but not when it's 105+! If I can get my web site updated, then I'll have even more time to do art.

And now, I think it's time for that bowl of ice cream.

Too much???

Yes, I know it's been literally weeks since I last wrote anything. The fact of the matter is that I'm just too tired to do everything I want to do so some things, such as this blog, get left behind.

So here's a few of the things I've been upto lately:

• I've been dealing with a sick cat and 2 cats with food-issues. This means special food and medication at various times throughout the day. I never realised how nice it was when I had 3 cats and they all ate the same food without any other problems.


• I've had to deal with various troubles with my husband's truck and his business. While this doesn't take up much time, it's an emotional nightmare. A few hours in the shop and he racks up a bill for $3000! There's only so much money, so I have to juggle bills to pay everything.


• I'm revamping my web site thanks to a friend talking to a big-name decorator. She wants to show him my work, but I'm insisting that she hold off for a week so I can redo some of my web site. (Like this blog, updating my web site is one of those things that I keep putting off.) I probably have 10 portraits and a dozen botanicals to put up!


• I've just finished a couple of portraits, but I still have 3 or 4 more to do! Every time I think maybe I've caught up, I get further behind.


• I decided that come Sept, I will get rid of the garbage service, so I've had to work on starting a compost pile. A compost pile in the desert requires almost daily maintenance.


• I'm trying to get some bookcases built in my studio so I can actually find books. One thing about doing wildlife art is that you need reference material -- books and photos. But if the reference material is hidden away in boxes or piles, it's really frustrating.


• I am now back to 'professionally' knitting for 2 different people. One contacted me and we settled on terms. Then another lady contacted me and, since we have had a long-term working relationship, I agreed to do some for her. (If I didn't need the money to cover the vet bills, I'd say 'no'.) I guess I will have something useful to do while sitting in front of the fan when it's 106F outside!


• And finally, I'm desperately trying to get new work done both to sell now and to have ready for the fall.

I know I'm a bit unrealistic, expecting to be able to do everything, but I don't know what to cut. I keep thinking if I could just work a bit longer or figure out how to do something faster, then it all would fit in a day. Maybe, maybe not. I'm just glad that most of my clients understand and are patient with me!